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Finding Goatse: The Mystery Man Behind the Most Disturbing Internet Meme in History 1. Sometime in the late 20th century a naked man bent over, spread his ass bisexual personal homepages took a picture. Eventually that picture, known as Goatse, became one of the most venerable memes in internet history.

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Who is this man, and how did his ass take over the internet? The story of Goatse begins with a mustachioed, wiry man in his late forties who goes by the name “Kirk Johnson. Johnson is a prominent practitioner of extreme penetration, which is the extreme penetration community’s term of art for sticking huge objects up your ass. For years, Johnson has been rumored to be the Goatse man, based on their similar frame, skills, and matching moles on both Goatse’s and Johnson’s ass. I’m not sure the exact circumstances of my first, but I do recall the weightless horror after clicking on the link as a greasy teenager, screwing around online between rounds of the first-person shooter Counter-Strike, that directed me to the now-defunct Goatse shock site: www.

This is what I saw at Goatse. He’s reaching back with both hands, four-fingers deep, stretching his asshole to the diameter of a cantaloupe. It’s a flash photo taken very close and the man’s gaping ass is lit a queasy red against a nondescript dark room, everything else dangling where it should be. Oh, just go see it for yourself, if you must, but be warned: It is as awful as its reputation claims. But if you sincerely feel your time has come, here’s Goatse. I recommend exercising similar caution in following the links throughout this article.

Your first Goatse hits you in waves, rocking between confusion and disgust as the physiological reality of the picture resolves gradually, magic-eye style. Jay Stile, the pseudonymous founder of the infamous shock site Stile Project and a person who has seen more than his share of gross things, clearly remembers his first thoughts upon seeing Goatse. One: How is that physically possible? Two: Why would any human ever want to do that?

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Three: the guy had a wedding ring on his picture! It’s probably, like, your university professor, or a doctor or a lawyer. You go through this whole range of emotions. It’s unbelievable that someone would do that. And after that: “Oh God, I need to show this to everyone so they feel the same pain I did. 90s, this sequence of events has been repeated often enough that it’s safe to say that millions of people have shared the pain of their first Goatse.

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The photo was the original internet bait-and-switch: Share a link to a hot girl, a cute puppy, but— boom—it’s Goatse instead. Goatse’ing someone without their consent is emotional assault. Goatse peaked in popularity in the mid-2000s and then faded, but it remains the most enduring meme of Web 1. There are T-shirts and tribute sites. The mere mention of Goatse will bring a wince—or a smile, depending on the person—to the face of the initiated.

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